So the last day has arrived…

Well it might only be the second day of Janurary 2011, but for me it is my last day for 2011 “living” at the farm. I was here for the grand sum of 17 days before I am up sticks and moving again. When I moved to the country I imagined putting down roots, and not needing to house again. The opportunity to have a home that I never needed to move from.

How wrong I was, this move marks move number 6 since I was married, each move away resulted in my returning to the farm, but with each move it gets harder to think that this will be last time. Especially as I say it every time, if I just ….(insert relevant plan here)… then it will all be OK. Before when I was single, moving was a pain, but it never had this emotional weight attached to it.

Maybe this is what people refer to as guilt. I can experience a lot of emotions but guilt is a feeling that often doesn’t impact upon me. In my past there have been actions that would normally have brought forward the feeling of guilt… but nothing, nada, ziltch, zero. One thing is if you don’t feel guilt for your actions then you learn to become conscious of your decisions / actions.

So along with “pangs of guilt” and a “sense of obligation” my bags have been packed and instructions left for what is to be bought to the city on Saturday when my actual house is ready for me to move in.

Now it is time to make myself presentable (by showering and finding some clean clothes), put on a happy face and go and sit at the local club whilst my husband watches some afternoon sport, country style… lawn bowls.

And of course in true fashion, I will put the laptop and modem in the car, because I believe the local sporting club is my study hall… lets hope they aren’t too noisy today.

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