That sinking feeling

All week I have looked forward to the coming week, having plans and really enjoying life. Then you get that sinking feeling when you look at your phone, that has barely survived its meltdown, and you see a text. When you read between the lines of what it says, they could have just written, “we need to talk”. It isn’t that “we need to talk because I have wonderful, exciting news and can’t wait to share it with you”. Its the “we need to talk” in which you know that disappointment is around the corner.

Unfortunately in this specific situation… I think I did the scaring off, which is fine. I say the word “fine” dripping with all the sarcasm and infliction that means the person saying it is at the polar end of fine. Unfortunately for the readers of this blog you are going to have to read between the lines quite often.  Maybe one day you will read a piece of fiction and remember this blog, and go hmmmm. 

Many a time I have been told to write down “the story of my life”. My life has been filled with twists, turns, unusual situations. Not all of these situations have been of my own making… but many a time they have. I never aspired to be a writer, having all those words to allow the reader to be taken into my “fantasy” world and imagine what it could have been like, those type of words escape me. But maybe I will write it for myself, use one of those new self publishing sites and buy myself a copy and know I am published, even if the only purchaser is myself.

But I digress as per usual, the sinking feeling is still there and I suspect in exactly 20 mins when I said I can accept a phone call, the “we need to talk” will come true. Life is an accumulation of memories and experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. Life always continues to go on.. I refuse for it not to. The ride of my life continues, a bit like a never ending roller coaster, with highs and lows. But for what its worth, despite the highest peaks and the lowest lows…. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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