When you are wrong…

When you are wrong it is always important to admit it, the “we have to talk” I spoke about yesterday was all in my head. Now this is an absolute first but I must say it reminds us that our gut feelings can be wrong. But there is something still isn’t quite right. So maybe my gut feeling is predicting something, but only time will tell.

I also thought after all the late nights and hard work that I would fall into bed and sleep until at least 10am. WRONG!!! Why is it when you can curl up for hours on end and get some decent sleep your brain feels the need to wake you up nice and early. For me right now my sleep debt is so far in the red that no amount of extra sleep will restore it to neutral again. Whilst I have slept I feel just as bad as I have all week.

Exhaustion is a funny thing, it means you don’t even want to do things that you need to do or want to do. This week is going to be hectic and as per usual I am leaving things. Like today, I should have been out shopping for some gifts but alas I have decided that curling up in bed with a DVD at 11am is a better use of my time. Maybe I will fall back to sleep and wake up refreshed, who knows.

Speaking of DVD’s I am about to continue my journey through Ally McBeal… those wishing to judge, the big red x on the top right hand side of this window is a great place to start. I watched this for the first time in my early 20’s and now revisiting the series in chronological order.  I should add for those that are a little emotionally bruised it really isn’t the best viewing entertainment, remind you of how bruised you really are.

But I sometimes like to torture myself and today is no different. So whilst the sun is shining, and the weather is just divine, I will put my fan on (so I stay cool), find some blankets to wrap myself up in (so I feel safe), grab the tissues just in case and see if I can find a way to smile again. Then spend my evening being a conscientious student.. final subject for my degree and I am going to make sure I get there, on time and with little stress, which means … working regularly at it!

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Catching up

It seems to be a theme in this modern life, you always seem to be chasing your tail and catching up at every turn. At what point do you put yourself first? Recently I was in that situation and decided that maybe for once … just once … would put myself first. The downside of this is that catching up is right back at the top of the agenda. The time when I just run from moment to moment, juggling everything and then get to the end of a week (or each day) and find that the list really isn’t any shorter, I am exhausted and there has been no time for myself.

This week my flatmate has had visitors staying with us. As a consequence we have lost our TV room which is always a great place for some much needed “me time”. In this day and age the need to sloth on the couch has become a staple of my R&R activities. Often it doesn’t matter what is on .. just that there is something on that is attempting to entertain me.

It may be a female thing but I have noticed that females, in particular married females, often don’t put themselves first. It seems that this, what could be considered a selfish act, is actually sometimes the only way to survive. At the moment my life is presenting new and interesting problems everyday. Each day I strive to solve them, sometimes in very long winded and abstract ways, and each day I find my personal “me” time taken away from me.

Take study for example, I am undertaking a degree, in a long winded approach to being in a career that can be used in the country on the farm. Of course, it would be simple to take a TAFE Diploma and work in Patient Care in a hospital for example, but that is just not me. Whilst the end result will be an education qualification but instead of taking an Accounting degree which would be practical and useful to the farm, I took a Bachelor of Arts with focus on technology, much more enjoyable.

But whilst the content of my study is enjoyable to me at times, like right now, I have a major assessment overdue, whilst life continues at 100 miles and hour around me, adding more to my to do list with each passing hour. So right now I will sign off and finish this final assessment, whilst working from my bed. Sometimes you need to think outside the box to gain some much needed comfort and me time. Now to find some more cushions so I am feel like I am floating on a fluffy white cloud  … whilst being mundane and finishing this assignment.

 

The peace and tranquility of Saturday

It is weird but for me I like a peaceful Saturday morning … whilst Sunday is “the day of rest” for me Saturday mornings are just important. After a long week at work I like to sit quietly on a Saturday and just potter around the house. Today is my first real Saturday just pottering and it feels bliss.

My flat mate is still asleep and I have been floating around for the last hour and a half. Spoke to my husband who arrives in the city for about 3 days tomorrow. (Note to self: buy beer). Went and bought the paper and started the dishwasher. The rest of the morning will be spent just pottering and might even throw on a load of washing or two to get the sheets done.

This afternoon will be a bit more eventful with a trip to the stores to buy some makeup for work. The not wearing of makeup (which I am a fan of) is not looked on particularly fondly in a corporate work environment, the cult I have rejoined after many years. But if the ATO will not allow makeup as a tax deduction .. how rude … it is generally only purchased for work and the very occasional night out.

Whilst I am in the city it will be good for myself and my husband to go out more and socialise. This weekend he wanted me to play in a lawn bowls twilight event, it is actually good fun and last year I think we won or nearly won it. But I just wanted one more weekend to get organised and not have to face the 240km trip each way. It is hard because it is just so far and Saturdays are so enjoyable and I really don’t think I could do it on a Friday night after working all week. So hopefully over the next year I can put together some nice going out ideas that don’t cost the earth because the budget is stretched really tight now.

Hello world!

Well I am going to stick with the default hello world title.. because after installing many blogs for academic purposes I have decided to start writing and continue to write about 2011.

I didn’t take this photo but it is really cool and wish I had thought of this myself and yes I “borrowed” it from Facebook. But sometimes you never know if they actually took the photo or it is also “borrowed”.

Anyways this is an apt picture for me as in 2011 I move back to the coast and will be less than 1 km from the beach. 2011 is one of those years for me.. it is a head down .. bum up and get the job done. With some hard work and determination I think it can be one of those milestone years for all the right reasons.

Now I know it is the 30th Dec but today that all important phone call arrived … you have a job! So the relocation has all been brought forward a week and no lazing around unpacking and getting settled.

Today I bought my 2011 diary… one of these years I will use a diary for the whole year.. maybe 2011 is that year?

So here is to me blogging how 2011 goes for me… I have bought a lotto ticket for tonight and Saturday night..and moving date to temporary accomodation has been set for Jan 3, 2011, first day of work Jan 4, 2011, the beach house move has been pushed back to Jan 8, 2011 finally the essay due Jan 10, 2011.

Time management is going to be key in 2011 along with a work / life balance and maybe even some R&R for “just me”… a nice dream for 2011.

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