And another year of rambling begins

Its taken me a few days to work out exactly what to write for the first post of 2014, so many ideas and not enough energy to get them down. I’m blaming the solar flares but deep down its also because I am scared.

The start of 2014 was the most bizarre situation culminating in me skippering the couple I never thought I would see together. Ironically I had met her before…. if the aftermath means our paths never cross, whilst my heart will be heavy it will be complete. He takes me to places that I never think I can go, brings down walls, makes me feel alive.  He only did what he knew I was ready for, I did ask if she knew I existed. Now he helped put faces to the names, galant, dangerous, and has my friend base split 50/50.

Some think that is was horrid that he asked me to drive him and his date to her house. Well technically he said lift home, but never said whose. Yes, it would have been nice to spend some time with him, but not 2am been out all night. I would rather keep my memories intact with a great ending to 2013 (albeit a day early) and my ‘last’ NY kiss was his.

So this second day of 2014 allowed me to create new routines, including reading, swimming and beach walking. Returning to old haunts for my traditional, ‘one nutritious meal’ a week but instead of journal articles it was a good book and a vodka spiked LLB. Now I round out the evening with good music, the last few chapters of Book #4 and the incoming tide under the stars.

As happy as I am there is something missing……… I need to find that last puzzle piece.

A day to remember

In Australia the 11/11 is Remembrance Day, where we pause at 11am to remember those who have fallen fighting for our country. I did appreciate that today that the commercial radio station I was listening to had 1 minute silence and then played the last post, it was moving and very symbolic of how important this day is in Australia.

Today whilst an important national day will also be remembered by me as the day that my husband allowed me to take a solo holiday.

As I type this post (badly because I have fake nails on for a friends wedding in a week), I am sitting at the airport waiting to take the first of 3 flights, which in approximately 15 hours will land me in Fiji.

I am off to relax, with a book, maybe a laptop and think and ponder and just unwind. It is the first time I have traveled solo in over a decade.

I better log off, boarding starts in 10 minutes and I like to be looking semi organised.

Another day another dollar…

Or so the saying goes, not like I particularly care about the dollar or trudging my way through another day at the grindstone. This working thing really isn’t all its cracked up to be, I have a list of things that I should be doing but instead I have found myself surfing the net, playing on my phone or singing along to the radio in my head, and now I am blogging. With just over 4 weeks before I finish this job, as much as I am not a country type girl the thought of not having to get dressed for work and come to an office and be bored all day is sounding mighty appealing.

What isn’t appealing is as the weather warms up again, I move further away from the beautiful blue ocean. A long hot summer at the beach is really what I want to be doing, but alas it isn’t looking possible yet. Once the harvest is finished the question is should I be heading back to the coast to enjoy the last few months of summer or should I stay closer to my husband? I know at the farm I have my husband, a swimming pool (note this is a poor subsitute for the beach) and my beloved furbabies, but its isolated. ** sigh ** more decisions to be made but I am not making them right now. At least my current employer is advertising my position as a casual one so there is a chance I can get it back if I decided to move back.

Also, at the rate I am going, if I don’t pull my finger out I will be still be studying next year. Who could have imagined that one unit could be doing my head it soooooooo badly. I think that because it is a group one that makes it just a little bit harder, the guilt of not giving 100% isn’t worth it. Lucky at least my group is happy to pass, we are all over this study game, passing is all I need. Oh note to self… register for the degree… you finish in like 6 weeks!!!

Well suppose I should try to look like I am achieiving something constructutive right now, considering I have just under 45 minutes before I finish for the day, and at the rate I am going, if I don’t keep busy I will fall asleep at my desk. It was naughty of me to deliberately set myself up in the corner so I could surf the net in peace and quiet, before we go onto the real network which will be monitored.

Tonight is shopping night, so I need to conserve my energy to find a dress for a friend’s wedding in a few weeks, not that I want to buy a new dress, but the ones I currently own are considered a little too low cut for this wedding, shame really, its good to torment my ex, with a revealing outfit.

Into the ocean

This weekend I went and spent a night in a little place called Preston Beach and wished I never had to leave. I jumped in the freezing ocean but it was so refreshing. Saturday was the best day for the beach, but I forgot my camera DOH!. Its a shame it isn’t a good swimming beach for little ones but it is still a really nice place.

Anyone heading to WA and wanting some time out, I would recommend staying down at Preston Beach Footprints Resort.  Pool, tennis court, playgrounds, one at the beach about 5 mins away and one about 2 mins around the corner from the resort. Being between two national parks there are plenty of kanagroo’s about and you can get quite close because they are used to people being around.

We were lucky our bungalow, which are fully equipped with BBQ, dishwasher, fridge etc so you can just bring your food and cook in your unit, overlooked the road (very quiet) but some of the units, face each other sharing a common grassed area (would be great for kids). Didn’t try out the pool as it was the first day of school holidays, but the kids there were having a great time, with a shallow kids pool and a normal deeper one as well.

I spent my time at the beach, watching two great games of rugby world cup (and channel surfing to the AFL final), lazing on the lounge or the deck. Ate way too much, my friend is a better cook than I remembered and I didn’t even have to wash a dish  Ahhh relaxation 101 … just wish I was there for at least 3 days, you can’t do anything but relax there.

Shame it is time to go back to reality because it was just 24 hours of bliss….

Hello October

Well its the beginning of a new month and it marks the last 6 weeks I have left in the big city. Well ok, this city isn’t so big but its a city, and a capital city at that.  I had planned to be here for another 3 months but unfortunately things change and for me this means making the most of what I have left.

The weather is starting to turn towards summer and to be honest that is one of the things that I am going to miss the most, not having a few months of beaching before returning to the rural lifestyle.  Summer’s at the beach are always so enjoyable for me, as I have this natural attraction to the water, especially the beach. But I know that if I need a bit of water therapy when I return to the rural lifestyle I can jump into the pool and at least pretend.

With my decision to return to the farm early, to help with harvest (for the first time ever!), I had to pass on a new job. For the first time I was head hunted into a position and then had to decline. I know my star signs told me it would happen, but I didn’t think it would, but I do hope that this wasn’t “the” career job mentioned for September, and that there are more opportunities coming.

Uni is in its final swing, final unit, which unfortunately is a group project. The group is great my motivation is seriously lacking, must make amends for that problem. But right now my head space really isn’t focused on getting my degree, especially as I haven’t even registered for it … yet. Note to self.. register for your degree!!!!

Another note to self, deep tissue massages cause bruising, so if you don’t want to look like you have been in a fight or fallen over in a drunken stupor, don’t opt for deep tissue. My lower back whilst all bruised feels great.. shame about my neck.

Before I sign this off for the weekend and see if the October forecasts are up at www.astrologyzone.com, I thought I would put a comment here about relationships. They are hard…. difficult and at times frustrating.  Friendships are easier to maintain but when a relationship (from many moons ago) turns into a friendship, you can’t guarantee that their new partner will be accepting. My ex is coming for a wedding that we will be at, his wife and family come too, but after deleting him, I wonder how this event will go. Sigh… I think I might just go and have a quiet weekend on a beach somewhere and just not worry about anything except for me. Wandering up and down a beach leaving footprints sounds like a better way to spend my time than worrying about husbands, ex boyfriends, family or life in general.

5 long months

Well it has been 5 long months since I was last here and really I wonder if it is possible to even summarise how difficult these months have been.

Firstly I lost my beach house for the year, due to the flatmate from hell. Still have a pending court date to be dealt with, but realistically I used the law to find a way out of aforementioned hell. After moving to my parentals I have a few weeks I ended up moving to student housing as a short term solution. After moving houses 5 times and with a 6th on the cards, I feel like a hobo with belongings scattered now between 4 houses. Still my attempt to live in one house for 12 months hasn’t materialized.

On the work front, currently as I type this I am sitting in a job that I HATE! Not having enough work or work that can be completed without someone else’s input is just exhausting. Every day I count down the minutes until I can go “home”. Of course home isn’t my true home, I wonder if that place actually exists.

Weight loss .. ha ha ha very funny idea. I did get myself a Wii Fit but alas that is now in storage… the motivation lasted for about 4 weeks before my life fell apart and I was deemed homeless.

Speaking of being homeless I would like to note that the legal system is an arse… who forces the abused person onto the streets… that would be our system. Archaic and rigid, with the focus on victimising the victim… off my high horse now.

Uni … 13 weeks, yes that’s all I have left to finish my degree. Of course the ability to finish my degree depends on me getting this last two assignments from a previous subject finished.. at this rate it will be summer school for me.

And last but not least love and life… well life hasn’t been treating me very kind recently, its been a long 5 months. I did get “picked” up in a club by someone who thought I was 26… alas I am not, but flattering and he even took me to dinner. Relationships are hard, long distance ones are harder. Especially when one partner feels down trodden, overlooked, and used, even if that isn’t the case.

I have taken to trying to put myself first, and as I was told recently…. I need to love myself. Unfortunately if anyone knew me… loving myself can often become self-destructive. Interesting since I started putting myself first… the men are flocking to be at my side, sometimes as friends and sometimes not. I must find a balance between loving myself and not letting me allow to drop an atomic bomb on my world, because there is no second chances from the devastation of dropping an atomic bomb on your world.

But sometimes, just sometimes you don’t need an atomic bomb to lifts your spirits. Entering into the “war zone” even if it is only for a few hours, you can feel like the most beautiful, important and intellegent person in the world. The problem is with entering into the “war zone” is that each time you enter, you risk your life, security, and sometimes you venture too far out of the green zone and when you go to far into the red zone, someone else might see what is happening and fire their own atomic bomb at your and then there is no going back … or so they say.

Celebration time….

Well firstly I must note that I have been a naughty blogger but now I am back again trying hard to make amends. Today was cause for celebration as it was the 12th anniversary of my 21st birthday party. Since I was 18 I attended a festival called the Big Day Out, the concert always falls around, and sometimes on my birthday, except when I was 21. There was a hiatus and thus my usual celebrating my birthday at the Big Day Out or BDO didn’t happen.

But on my 12th anniversary again I will be celebrating in style this weekend at the BDO. I have missed the last 3 BDO’s as I felt it wasn’t as fun anymore but this year.. watch out I am celebrating like I am 18 again … except this time I will be the responsible driver. But that’s ok, my hair is going to change to a purple colour, false eyelashes, fake skull nail, and my trusty Doc Marten boots. They have seen quite a few BDO’s, they didn’t make the first one I attended, but since then they have been my faithful boots at this event.

Trying to work out exactly how many years I have been to the BDO is getting tricky, I haven’t missed many since 1996 so at best guess 2011 will be my 11th BDO, but to be honest there are a few years when I think… did I see that band. There are too many favourites to list but a few highlights were Rage against the Machine (the fence went down between licenced and non-licenced), Hole, Porno for Pyros, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and for completely unrelated reasons Kamahl.

Anyways enough about my “party” today… there was some beaching involved due to a shorter day at work. Then there was also a shopping trip with a surrogate niece for her first BDO outfit. But to prove I was at the beach… here it is..

Time for bed, I am going to be sooo exhausted at work tomorrow, and I have a big weekend ahead, with Friday night dinners (just like the Gilmore Girls) but these are much more enjoyable 🙂 Then catching up with a friend, BDO outfit / styling adjustments, and then the BDO, before work on Monday. ARrrrrrggghhh.

The beginning of another weekend

It is weird but every weekend my body clock allows me less than an hour sleep in, whilst my flatmate can somehow get a three hour sleep in. That is what I find so unfair especially as the art of sleeping in used to be my forte. Since when did the universe decide that sleeping in was not going to be in my future.. bah! Of course when it is planned to be awake within a hour of normal waking up time (630am for those who are interested) I would never make it without an alarm.

This weekend due to exhaustion it was decided that the trek back to the farm wouldn’t happen. Based on my husbands post on my Facebook page it seems he wasn’t overly happy with this decision. It is difficult living such a distance away from each other, but right now my sanity is most important along with staying rested, especially if sleep debt cannot be caught up on the weekend. Next week I will head back to the farm, it is easier when they give you “hump day” also known as Wednesday off for a public holiday. It will be bliss only 4 working days, but the bank balance won’t be too happy.

But really, when is the bank balance ever happy? The Suze Orman show is one of my favourites that I used to watch via Foxtel (but we have disconneted it due to high costs) but now I download her podcasts, which are full versions of her show, because it is effectively free!. She really hammers home that we should all have an 8 month emergency fund. This seems so unachievable to have enough money put aside so the bills can be paid for 8 months if there was a lack of income. It is a goal but not one that I can see happening in 2011 but I will be watching the pennies even more closely this year.

So enough about money, I have completed my morning ritual of waking up, reading the paper and having breakfast and now it is time to get motivated for the day. Really need to do some washing but the flat mates washing is still on the line and at 10am it doesn’t look like he is going to be rising anytime soon. Guess I will start cleaning up a bit around the house and getting the washing started, you never know he might just wake up when the vacuum cleaner gets started up.

PS:  Sunday is a 9am Aqua Balance class, and hopefully a trip to the beach! My husband really needs the beach it was 40 degrees Celsius at 6am this morning and only getting hotter, lets hope he stays cool in the pool and air conditioning watching movies it is too hot for anything else.

PPS: That essay that I wrote whilst relocating and moving scraped in at 57% which is fine, I am just glad to have passed.

PPPS: Yes I know I am not writing a letter 🙂

 

 

We have been reunited.

Well my belongings … well the main stuff … and I have been reunited in our beach house, which I will be now calling home for the next 12 months. My home will always be the farm because that is where my husband is and is the only stable residence I have known for about 4 years? But for me on my 2011 journey the beach house will be home.

My husband brought down my belongings and the most important thing … a bed! After 5 nights attempted sleep on an air mattress I will have my bed again. It isn’t the bed ever bed slept in but it certainly delivers a good night sleep. Moving is such a stressful thing, especially when you are moving away from your partner.. he has been so good and helpful, not only moving me but helping out with my flat mate.

Another reunited that has happened today is with my friends cat. I have lived with his cat over the years and she has even lived with me when he was unable to have her where he had moved to. She is now 17 and is one of the reasons that I also own a Russian Blue. The cat I am coexisting with me is called Belief. I am sure that she has a “full name” but can’t tell you what it is 😦

My essay … because it is due in only a few days is sitting at a few hundred words. Tomorrow there is a brunch for my grandmother, so it is going to be one of those last minute essays. In my defense, in planning there was plenty of time.. in reality … it didn’t exist. Along with the essay being completed there hasn’t been a trip to the beach. It is only 1km away and since moving in, even if it was yesterday after work, still haven’t gone to dip a toe in.

Returning to the workforce

Well today I ventured back into a real office, and an open plan one no doubt. I forgot what working in a “temp” role was like. Arrrghhh first day jitters, fumbling my way around learning new systems and adapting to the corporate way.

This is the first time that I have had a car and a drivers licence, not working in the CBD and what is the problem you wonder, parking!!! Whilst the parking is free and it takes 1/3rd of the time to get there if you can find a park! Right now the last thing I wanted to face was public transport. The friend that I was staying with wasn’t home when I got up, so it was a nice quiet start to my first day, and I must admit driving was one way to enjoy every last minute I had left.

Of course the benefit to a car is the ability to wash away the feeling of working by jumping into the ocean. As per typical lines.. I stupidly start a casual conversation with someone to find an attack of “6 degrees of separation”. Must learn to stop taking to random strangers it just leads to another oh do you know… “blah blah blah” with the reply always being, “yes”.

Just in case you were wondering… (not that many of you would be)… my essay is up the proverbial creek without a paddle. It isn’t happening… moving is looming closer … I am working and what isn’t done.. that blasted essay. Internet and TV, something that would normally interest me but alas I am just blah about the whole thing.

And finally before I go to try that essay … I want to be in my new house!!! ARRRRGGHHHHH